So, we are in the waiting room at the doc's office, and I am just sitting there all miserable from being 134 weeks pregnant when I see an issue of "Pregnancy" magazine sitting on the waiting room table. I remember an email from my BFF about a cloth diaper coupon that she was on the lookout for, so I asked my husband to check what month the issue is from (ya know, because sitting up and leaning over to the table myself was way too hard at 178 weeks pregnant). It's March...YESSSSS!!
I take the issue and start thumbing through it looking for the coupon. I didn't see it at first...but then there is was!! Inside the front cover! Uh oh. Dilema. Damn...do I tear the cover off of a waiting room magazine?? Is that wrong?? Hubby seemed to think so, and so we proceeded to have a hushed argument/conversation about the moral issues surrounding the pillaging of waiting room magazines. Now, about my husband, he has a thing for rules and laws and social norms...he ALWAYS follows them to the letter. I, on the other hand, am totally fine with bending a few here and there (5 mph over the limit is not a freaking felony). So, since I am the dominant (and pregnant) one in the relationship, I make the decision that saving my friend some cash money is worth the time I will spend in Jew purgatory for my "crime".
So I begin. Casually bending the cover back and forth forming a crease line that I can tear the coupon neatly from. At this point, my husband is HORRIFIED that I (his wife and the mother of his unborn son) am defiling a magazine that does NOT belong to me. He says the magazine belongs to one Dr. M.C. whose name is clearly printed on the magazines exterior cover. I rationalize: based upon the dollar amount that we are paying per visit for this wonderful doctor in her chic office, this magazine belongs to both the doctor and myself equally. My argument does not sway my husband. In his mind I am STEALING, totally tantamount to robbing a bank, right there in the office where my baby's doctor is! Oh the SHAME!! THE HORROR!!! At this point, he is so embarrassed (um, nobody was there, nobody could see me, my back was to the desk) that he actually MOVED TO ANOTHER COUCH!! That's right, my husband was so mortified that I could do this that he switched couches to pretend like he didn't know this CRAZY thieving woman, while mumbling "I don't know you, I don't know you..." (who is crazy in this situation?).
I find this all quite hysterical. So funny in fact, that my headache and pelvic pain were shifted to the back of my mind as I quietly giggled and finished the "job". So now I am done, and I got so much joy out of stealing this coupon while my husband squirmed on (his own) couch that I start looking around for more magazines that I can pilfer through...and guess what I find?? This office has MULTIPLE SUBSCRIPTIONS to that same Parenting magazine!! In fact, there are TWO other copies on the next table over!! Sweet nectar of the Gods!! I managed to make my husband squirm some more by stealthily removing one more coupon from the cover before the nurse opened the door and called my name to come back for my weekly pawing and urinalysis. SWEET!
My husband, by they way, DID find another coupon, on an interior magazine page, which still seemed to make him a little uncomfortable when I ripped it out, but to a much much lesser extent. So, kudos sweetheart for saving my best friend some money, but not at the expense of your soul.
At this point, I think it is important to mention that my husband's completely honest and moral heart is one of the most attractive things about him. I fell totally totally in love with how GOOD a person he is...and not even out of fear of punishment from God (he is somewhat agnostic, yet spiritual in his own way). He is simply good for the good of it, and I hope and pray (to God, because I am very much a believer in God) that he is always that way.
Now for that one issue left that escaped my grasp...I guess there is always next weeks visit.
No comments:
Post a Comment